At the Armory. .
Im at the Armory right now, the New Balance track & Field Center and I feel soo nervous. You see people running the relays and spiriting and falling and vomiting. There was this guy who just paused behind me and my friends seat and then BAM and all he ate for breakfast was chilling on the floor. I really didn't care at first about this mee,. It was gonna be one of those what ever meets but once I walked to the armory it makes you feel like you can do better. The place feel like victory. I like it a lot now. I was planning to quit but I would have to postpone that thought now. At the moment im watching the guys do relays. But our guys left already. They already finished there events. I wish I had a camera and take pictures. To show you guys how it looks.
I wish there was some thing inside me that would want to accomplish something. . I was like that. Like having something to look forward to. I want to see janiri today but I don't know if i can. I miss her. I miss a lot of my friends for some apparent reason. I feel like im fading away with all my friends. I guess family is always there. My relationship with my mom is getting way better. Thank god. Talking about thanking God; my thanks giving was good I spent t pretty well.
I went to the Macys ThanksGiving Parade with Ameilia, her boy friend George and her moms. My 1st time there. I felt like a little girl. I finally knew what it is to spend time at these things. Have you ever had that girl in your class who did all the holiday stuff? Like the parade, visit Santa clause in the mall, go see the Christmas tree in the cityy? I never did stuff like that. My parents believed it wasn't for us. But anywho, trying to get to NJ from the city is horrible. It was a worth while mission.
Its only 12:05 and I only been here for like a hour but it feel like 5 hours.
I think im transferring out my high school, I seem not to like it as the days keep on going by.
im happy
And I don't know why (: but I am!! Or mayb its cause soo hyper right now lol! But im inn the zone, time for track practice!
My day today in general
Was cute. . Woke up tired_cclass @ deVry _ chill out _ see sunset^-^ _chill out even more _ brought flowers for my mom _ celebrate my brothers bday_ saw my ex-neighbor's who I missed soo dearly _ &now sleeeeeep (:
Today. .
I had planned to do soo much. BUT lazyness kicked in once again. I need to step up my game. In school it went pretty fast, mid-term after mid-term. . Sooner or later ima crashhh soo fast!_ Now im cleaning becausein when I see a big mess in my room it causes a supper headache where I feel the heat raises to my head & my ears and eyes feel all the pain! Soo for now I believe I need a table in my room, I realized I have to many books, and they need a special spot.
_ i have tired in focusing in not slacking off, but I don't know what my motivation is anymore. I just wanna focus in school but there isn't a push. . Like for my soul to put effort. But I don't what has been going on with me lately. Im starting to like pain. . But physical pain; I don't know if that healthy. I run track and when im running I feel the pain. With the pain that builds up makes me want to do more and more until I can't take it no more. I like running it frees my mind from all the fear, problems, emotions, it all goes to one zone and put away. I like it. . Im starting to love it. :)
this past week has been....
soo eh.
soo much in my mind, the cartwheels it does is unexplainable...
soo much in my heart, it aches for help...soo much is going on, it hurts.
soo many solutions,
soo many ways to fix it..
soo many ways it will end. oh dear...
Mel-LAH-neh
When I look at my little cousin I see a whole flashback fo when I was little. Always laughing, remembering the fact all you had to worry about was getting lost and thinking about if you have to pee or not. Its funny cause we grow soo fast. . And I remember when she was just born a little angel from the sky now always comes and visits me and brings laugher in my household. The little girl who I love soo much. . She always says "besitos para ti y mi!" I was I was little again . . Just the other day I went to visit my elementary school, P.S. 81. . I felt like a giant there: I felt as if belonged there. Then I had these little flashbacks again. . In my class room just playing coloring; now that was the good life. Being a child is a blessing, growing up is an option, getting old is mandatory.
^-^
